'Swing, swing, swing the spinning step You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.'

January 23, 2014

Hello! I hope everybody has been enjoying the new year and avoiding the january blues. It was my 23rd birthday yesterday and I am fully embracing turning a year older, despite Blink 182 reassuring me that 'nobody likes you when your 23'.  For 23 my goals are to be motivated and productive, which i can honestly say I have not been either this week... I blame the birthday celebrations and my wonderful housemates who spoilt me! But fingers crossed I'll look back on being 23 and be proud of my achievements. I know its such a cliche but the years seem to be zooming by! So I best get a shuffle on. 

I thought I'd share my new favourite outfit with you, I wore this dress for new years eve which was so perfect as it hides a bloated tummy very well and I still felt sassy. Also I love my new jewellery from Rachel Loves Bob, I came across their stall at the brick lane market and fell in love!

Shirt - Primark
Earrings and Necklace - Rachel Loves Bob
Boots - New Look (now in the sale!)
Jacket - Vintage 

Outfit Inspiration - Suzy Bishop; Moonrise Kingdom

''They were right. I do go bezerk'' - Suzy

The Twenteenage Years

January 4, 2014

HBO GIRLS -  reassures me that its okay not to have your shit together yet..

My twenties feel like an extended, darker adolescence filled with more responsibility but at the same time the most freedom I have ever had.

I have been spending a lot of time recently reading Rookie Mag - an online magazine for teenage girls written and edited by teenage girls. Which I feel kinda weird about as I turn 23 in a few days. I have NEVER wanted to relive my teenage years, god they were... so many things, exiting, dirty, hilarious, embarrassing, amazing and awful all at once. But the thing about these articles 'for teenage girls' is they still resonate with me. I can still relate. Does it mean I haven't grown up? I don't think so... I worry I'm getting more cynical and the ultimate put down - B o r i n g ! I worry I will never be as passionate and excitable as I was in my teens. I know for a fact I have never loved a band more than when I was a teenager and new music just doesn't have the emotional attachment. Back then ANYTHING was still possible and with each year that passes now, it becomes less likely if dreams are not put into plans.

I think the reason I can still 'get' these teenage articles is I really haven't got it all figured out just yet. And it doesn't happen the moment your turn 20. The good think now is I have a rough idea of what I want to do with my life. But I'm questioning myself more than ever before, the more I read, the more I learn, the more I think and doubt and wonder, and ...arghhhhhh.  As a teenager even though everything seems so important at the time their is a sense of freedom or 'I don't give a shit' that you can still make everything okay in the future, your allowed to fuck up, it doesn't really matter. But as I turn 23 I feel I have the most freedom I have had..ever. Its overwhelming ..especially for an incredibly indecisive person. I could literally move to the other side of the world, or change degrees or whatever. Im so friggin privileged and I'm complaining about all this freedom! Its bloody awful isn't it. I think growing up is about controlling your freedom.

I think for our modern generation, our early twenties are an odd extended adolescence because we only know of what went before us and thats our parents who where starting to think of settling down around this age. We don't have that pressure any more, we have more possibilities, and prolonged angst of what am I doing? ...at least thats how I feel anyway! 

Maybe we're just jaded teenagers that don't want to party as much and know how to pay bills relatively on time.

The Lost Days

January 2, 2014

'Lost Days' (my photography)

You know how people look back and only reflect on the 'good' nostalgically? I think I've looked back at 2013 and remembered the negative. As much as I absolutely loved being home and seeing friends and family, in those lost days between Christmas and New Year I felt a bit, well... lost in a malaise of television, food and sleep.

When I'm not feeling or being productive I get down. Unlike everybody else enjoying their time off, I didn't feel like I'd earned it, all that down time...the weeks leading up to coming home for Christmas weren't entirely productive at Uni.

Social Media is often criticised for producing a false persona of ourselves - we only share the best bits. With Instagram we photograph our most beautiful moments not our darkest hours.  My blog records my achievements and adventures not the days spent in bed watching Scandal online, one episode after another, after another (eating whole chocolate oranges)...

But I'm okay with my online projection it reminds me of the good in my life.  My friends and family would probably describe me as optimistic and positive but sometimes it can be a battle within myself to keep it that way.

After looking through my pictures from the past year and reminding myself of the good things that have a happened in 2013 I'm feeling a lot brighter and ready to immerse myself in 2014.

Here are two lovely articles that resonated with me..

'Times Past' by Ill Seen, Ill Said - This is a beautiful piece about friendship. It reminded me not to judge friendships on who is here for you right now, but to appreciate the beauty of past friendships. Their would not be enough time in the day to maintain relationships with every single friend we have had in our life time.

This Too Shall Pass, Buddhism Lite for Lazy Neurotics - I was having a 'WTF am I doing with my life, I am 23 next month' moment, and then I read this.

I hope the new year brings you all everything you wish for.

 - Rebecca x